Chopin

Thursday 9th April 2009

This is a Crackerjack review of Chopin. Do you agree? Rate and review this venue.

Food and drink: 5 / 10.
Service: 6 / 10.
Atmosphere: 5 / 10.
Value for money: 9 / 10.

At its peak a couple of years ago, it was estimated that 12,000 Poles were living in the Bristol area, compared to 2,000 in 2004.

When the Eastern European country entered the EU, there was an influx of workers moving from Poland to Bristol.

At times, it felt like there were more people with Polish accents than Bristolian ones. Suddenly our bus drivers, construction workers and shop assistants were all called Tomasz or Danika, rather than Wayne and Kylie.

Supermarkets introduced Polish sections with shelves piled high with pickled cabbage and tins of herring, and then small Polish food shops started to open in unlikely places such as Bedminster.

Hard working and efficient, Polish people have certainly helped bolster the local economy. The city’s restaurant business has benefited more than most since the influx of Poles, with many getting jobs in kitchens as chefs or porters, or as waitresses, and so the opening of Bristol’s first Polish restaurant comes as no surprise. In fact, the only surprise is what took them so long. It was a question I asked 
my waitress at Chopin and she simply said “nobody has been this brave yet”.

And brave it is. Since recession gripped the UK, many Poles have returned to Eastern Europe because they have better chances of work back home now. Polish food shops here are already closing and there are fewer Polish people working in the city. Ironically, the only two people eating at Chopin when I arrived on Saturday lunchtime were two homeless Poles, one wearing a yellow and blue Big Issue vendor’s jacket. They had come into the restaurant to share a bowl of chicken soup, which at £2.20 must seem particularly enticing to anybody these days, but especially a homeless Big Issue seller from Poland.

Chopin stands in that stretch of shops and restaurants just past Cheltenham Road arches, the bit before it becomes more upmarket Gloucester Road. It’s a large, double-fronted restaurant with red carpet, red and white walls, orange paper lanterns, dark wooden chairs and orange plastic playschool chairs.

One wall is dominated by four large paintings of The Beatles, at the far end a red and white Poland football scarf is draped over the large plasma screen.

The first thing you notice about the extensive menu is the prices. Starters from 99p to £1.99, salads from £1.29, side dishes 90p, some main courses as cheap as £3.95. It’s as if the owners simply have no idea what to charge people for the food. Perhaps, they just feel sorry for us cash-strapped Brits.

Apparently, only 30 per cent of the customers are Polish, meaning that 70 per cent are locals clearly looking for a bargain.

For those of you who haven’t experienced Polish food before, it’s a hearty cuisine dominated by pork, sausages, potatoes, pickled vegetables and cheese. It’s simple stuff served in generous portions and not a cuisine that would win many awards for flair or presentation.

Typical dishes on the menu include steak with cheese, pepper and herb potatoes (£5.20); pork steak with pineapple and cheese, chips and coleslaw (£7.10) and the amusingly titled potato thug pie with meat sauce, cream and chive (£7.20).

The menu, which lists up to 90 dishes, all of them numbered, also takes in breakfast, burgers, pasta dishes and pizza, presumably in an attempt to appeal to everybody who passes the door.

Even though it was Saturday lunchtime, I think I must have caught Chopin on the back foot slightly. They had run out of a few things on the menu and there was only one chef in the kitchen.

The waitress almost apologised that the food would take 15 minutes because he was “cooking everything fresh” – which was actually music to my ears. As I sipped my refreshing bottle of Lech beer (£2.60) – from a drinks list that includes five Polish beers and 12 vodkas – I could hear a ferocious amount of chopping, banging and clattering in the kitchen. It was if somebody was building a shed, rather than cooking one main course.

After a quarter of an hour, my food arrived. Presented on a square black plate, my pork chop “schabowy” (£6.95) wasn’t exactly what I ordered, as the advertised mashed potatoes were now chips and the promised fried beetroots had run out and been replaced with pickled cabbage.

I soon realised what all the noise had been when I saw the pork chop, which had been beaten until it was the size of a pancake and the thickness of a pound coin. It was breadcrumbed and nicely cooked (deep-fried), but in a blind tasting it could have been chicken, veal, pork or just about anything, really – a cork table mat, a Scholl Comfort Insole, you name it.

The chips were piping hot and crisp but had the taste of oil that had seen better days. The pickled cabbage had a vinegary, sauerkraut tartness to it, which sliced through the deep-fried flavours of the pork and chips.
OK, it wasn’t the prettiest or most exciting plate of food I’ve eaten, but it was comforting and filling for the price. To finish, a decent apple pie (£1.75) which was more like an old-fashioned apple Charlotte in that it was a light sponge with a layer of apple and cinnamon at the top. It was served with two large scoops of chocolate ice cream and a drizzle of chocolate sauce, making it more Weston-super-Mare than Warsaw, but still a dessert at a wallet-friendly, 1970s’ price.

Chopin is unlike any other restaurant in Bristol, both in terms of the menu and the jaw-dropping prices.
It is quirky and run by friendly, eager-to-please people, but whether its uniqueness is a strong enough weapon to last the distance in such harsh times is another thing.

MARK TAYLOR

Prices: Starters from 99p; main courses from £3.95; desserts from £1.70.

Wheelchair access: Yes.

This is a Crackerjack review of Chopin. Do you agree? Rate and review this venue.